2. Who are the five people you spend the most time with? Are they increasing you or holding you back?

This is a tough question. I used to have an answer, I used to have at least five people, some would be holding me back so I no longer have them. I will focus on who I have and the quality of the relationships and not the quantity.

First and foremost, I have a renewed relationship with the higher power that connects all living things. I trust intuition and the energy that is picked up and given off by others. I always felt that certain people in my life were holding me back, but the fear of being wrong about them and ending up alone kept me shackled to those relationships. However, 2025 was a year of shedding all of those doubts and trusting in the goodness of the universe and the one that guides. I am not a religious person, but I do consider myself a spiritual person. I believe there is purpose and higher levels of growth and understanding that we are not aware of. We are here to learn and move on to the next thing. Life cannot be about colleting material things you do not take with you.

Second, I have a new relationship with myself. I no longer look to downgrade my talents or efforts. I do not look to hide my light so others don't feel bad when they see it. See, I used to always downplay what I did and what I came up with to not sound as if I was bragging or if I was trying to take credit for something that others were able to do as well if they had had the opportunity. But, that left me feeling disregarded. My last work environment was highly toxic. People were not kind to each other and the kind people stayed away from everyone because the few wanted to shine and be worshiped and the many worked quietly in the backgrounds.

I had to learn to trust that I could take credit for my work and walk away from environments that were detrimental to my well-being. I am happy to report that I have stopped holding myself back and have learned to embrace my inner power.

Third, I have a deep, soul-connected relationship with my husband. Whether things are good or bad, I have the ability to trust him and know that he will operate out of goodness and love for me. He is genuinely a good person. He operates from a kind heart and he is loyal. He is not perfect, but neither am I. He walks life with me and we grow together. We have been through some really difficult times, but with him it just feels easier. I truly feel blessed to have found such a solid partner for life.

Fourth, I have the complex relationship with my four biological children. They lift me up, they tear me down (like the song), but they keep me grounded and honest. They show me the kind of person I want to be and the kind of person I am not. It is so strange to have these children that were raised by me, operating in the real world as adults and knowing I influenced them and passed on values I was given by my grandparents, and traits passed down through my family. I know they are not perfect.

They do not live perfect lives. However, I did not raised them to live the life I wanted for them, but to work for the life they wanted for themselves. This was tough. I knew they did not being to me. These four relationships are the toughest ones I have. The emotions run deep and I have to always remind myself that whether I failed as a parent, or succeeded as a parent, they have their own paths to walk and I cannot save them from that. I can only advice and pray for them. I can support them when they made decisions and let them come home when they need to. Nothing else to do.

Fifth relationships I have in my life that mean so much to me is the relationships with former students. Some have become family, some have become friends. Life game me these children because it knew my own children would make me walk a difficult path and these former students have come in at different times to bless my life. I believe I have been a blessing to them as well, which keeps me going when I am feeling down. I look back to what they have been able to do (which my guidance or because of it) and it fills me with pride. Sure, there have been negative relationships as well, those keep me honest and grounded. I have done a lot for some and ended up being ignored and disregarded as soon as they got what they were looking for, but those keep me honest. Givers create takers and when people show you who they are, you have to believe them.

Lastly, I have some lasting relationships with former colleagues. Some have truly surprised me and some have broken my heart. I make the mistake of thinking that good work colleagues are also good friends, but that is not the case. I remember one colleague early on in my teaching career told me that the best way to test for a work friendship comes after you have left the work site, and I didn't understand that until I left my first worksite and lost many of my "friends". That was eye-opening because I was so naive. However, 20 years later, I have maybe 3 work friends that I met along the way and still keep in touch.

I also have a relationship category that once I place people in, I delete their number and move on. If they only reach out to me when they need something, I give them three chances to get it right. If the conversations only involve "Hey how are you?... I need this", then I move on. This book had a great sentence that stated "any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, you increase your mediocrity". I will not decrease my value to cater to people who do not see my value. Removing them that greatly improved my life. So, if they are reading this and wonder why I never got back to them, then they should know that I was simply trying to surround myself with quality people who help me move forward in life, not people who were using me to help themselves. Friends see what you can be, and help you get there. I am no longer supporting one-sided relationships.